The Adventure Begins ...

My entire world has just been turned upside down. My son has enlisted in the Army and ships out to basic training on April 16, 2008.

How can one person be excited, terrified, proud, dismayed, confused, scared, elated and worried all at the same time? Too many emotions all tangled up to even begin to sort them; this turns my world upside down in ways I cannot even articulate. For starters, in case anyone has failed to notice, there's a war going on -- a war of questionable integrity from the beginning, a war I never wanted, never voted for, never supported. Support the Troops? Of course. Support those willing to exploit their youth and energy, strength and courage, nobility and sacrifice for unworthy conflicts based in outright lies? Sorry, not so eager.

It's like a fly in the ointment, a taint of sour in a fine wine. You think of the risks involved, the dangers, the hazards, the worst-case scenarios, and a sinking fear grips your heart. You think of the courage, the determination, the sacrifice, the nobility of a young hand reaching for direction and responsibility in a chaotic and selfish world, and your heart yearns toward them, particularly as you face the jarring juxtaposition between the amazing opportunities for which they reach and some of the unspeakable uses to which the "powers that be" can put those. You desperately wish you could stretch forth your own hand before them, as you have done so many times before as a parent, to arrange the situation properly so that it brings forth fulfillment and blessing to reward those noble impulses, not disappointment or heartache to discourage and jade the spirit in a marinade of bitterness. Only this time you cannot. This time it's the adult world and you have no control over the outcome. You can only stare into the night sky counting the stars and hoping there really is something bigger than yourself with a heart full of compassion and a predisposition to hear a mother's pleas and care about her tears.

--And never mind religion with its sectarian squabbles; it's got no place in this sanctuary. Just like the military ceases to be about politics when someone you love chooses its path, prayer ceases to be about religion when raw heart conflict drives you to your knees, or out under the stars, seeking hope and guidance through the turmoils, and not much caring how anyone defines who or what provides them so long as the provision be true.

Stuff it never thought it would be reading:
Married to the Army (Army parents' page)
A Soldier's Mind

A world it never thought it would enter:
Military Moms

A song it used to hear on the radio and cry its eyes out over but never knew why ...
Letters from War - Mark Schultz

And now this is my life: this strange new element has entered. I am now an army mom. I join a community of thousands of other families with a membership that cannot be bought, sold or earned, nor does it depend in any way, shape, or form on who you are, what you look like, where you came from, what your beliefs might be. You belong to this community purely on the basis of someone else's decision -- your son's, your daughter's, your fiance's or spouse's -- to take the path of military service.